One of my goals for 2011 is to read 40+ books! My husband and I also make mutual goals each year. Coincidentally, we decided to read 3 books together, "Loving Our Kids On Purpose" by Danny Silk being one of them. Doubly worthy of blogging about, I'd say :) In processing and applying the tenants of the book, I thought it would be helpful to organize my thoughts in a way I could review them as often as needed (I'm pretty thick-headed at times!). I also am passionate about sharing my life experiences in order to impact others for good. What better way than to blog as I go?!
Chapter One thoughts:
The book has quite a lengthy introduction ("foreward", "preface", AND "introduction"!) and is followed by four chapters of approximately 30 pages each. I am intrigued by several points Mr. Silk had made so far.
Chapter One is entitled "The Heart of the Matter". It is truly reflective of the content. Early in the chapter he states, "Until our children can learn to deal with what is going on inside of them, they simply cannot learn to manage freedom." Freedom is truly the theme of this section. He gives a great example of something he and his wife employed as a parenting technique when their two boys were 6 and 4 years of age. They shared a room, and had begun a power struggle at bedtime, of course resisting the event. They decided to begin the "Room Time" concept in which they said, "It's room time. I don't want to see you or hear you until morning." The boys thought they had it made! After all, they didn't say they had to go to bed :) So they run off to their room and after only a couple minutes, they can hear them wrestling around. So Dad opens the door and says, "I can hear you!" The excuses start flying so he questions them: "Are you tired?" "Nah!" He proceeds to give them each a simple chore they must complete. This of course is completely deflating. After they struggle through a 2-min chore for 15 mins, he asks again, "Are you tired?" "Oh, yes. Yes, we're tired." Off to bed they go. Next night, same routine. When he asks this time, "Are you tired?" "Oh yes, yes we're tired!" Off to bed they went, learning already. Skip ahead about 10 years; older sister moves out and now the boys have their own room. As usual, room time is announced. Without Dad noticing, the boys head to the same room. After a few minutes, he hears them crashing around in the room. He yells from the couch, "Are you boys tired?" Within seconds, he hears two doors open and shut.
The subconscious is a powerful thing! And even more powerful: when children realize they have a choice. That they always have a choice: to exercise their own self-control - their freedom! - or to do something really dumb. Both have consequences. One is desirable. The other, not so much.
For me, this chapter reminded me that I have a huge responsibility as a parent to have my own inner house in order. That I need to process my own experiences as a child - what I experienced as 'parenting' - and be diligent about choosing what I want to carry forward and, even more so, what I don't want to bring forward into my parenting style. It also reminded that children want love. That love is the basic ingredient they want most. They want to be assured that they are loved no matter the mistakes they make or the disappointment they see in our eyes.
And I will wrestle with that. I know because I already have. My childhood memories of correction and discipline don't include the love message therefore when my children are disobedient or make disappointing decisions, I can be quick to correct rather than lovingly discipline them.
My take-away? Parenting is the biggest, most important job on the planet. Not an earth-shattering realization. But it is something I want to remember. Every day.
I'll leave you with this quote from the book:
"God has put a design and destiny within our children ... As parents, our goal is really to introduce our children to relationship with God by doing our best to relate to them like God does ... Honor brings power to relationships and the individuals in those relationships ... One of the primary ways we show honor to one another is by sharing power and control ... Loving on purpose means that we learn to let perfect love cast out all fear." -- Danny Silk
I encourage you: if this reflection got your attention on any level, go grab a copy of the book! Amazon has it for about $11 right now. You won't be disappointed.
Meanwhile, let me know your thoughts:
What have been your struggles/challenges with giving your child(ren) freedom?
(If you're not yet a parent, what do you imagine will be your struggle/challenge?)
12 January 2011
22 December 2010
The Final Recipe: Homemade Glazed Doughnuts!
The last recipe of the FFF Challenge has been made. Wow! These are a keeper:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/02/homemade-glazed-doughnuts/
While time-intensive and slightly overwhelming at times, these Homemade Doughnuts are super-delicious. I learned several things in the process.
One, have more time on hand than you think you might need. While I don't encourage immediate disregard and thoughts of "That will never happen", I do encourage you to set aside about 6 hours total. Looking back, I did not have that much time and I sure could have used it!
Two, buy a doughnut cutter. While my creativeness essentially worked - a round sandwich cutter and a shot glass - it worked less than beautifully. The doughnuts looked like thick onion rings! But, no matter: they tasted delicious :)
Three, I'm going to agree with my sister's sentiment (http://shortcakessweettooth.blogspot.com/2010/12/fff-final-recipe-homemade-glazed.html) and heartily encourage you to employ your husband - or friend, or child, or pet - to help. It's well worth it in the end. ***Thank you, Sweetheart!***
Four, I would change the way I made the glaze. I stuck to just a plain ole powdered sugar glaze; my instinct was to add peppermint extract but knowing I was taking them to church for hospitality the next day, I refrained fearing some would not like that flavor. Next time: I'm doin' it! Maybe it's being used to my Mom's glazes like maple and chocolate but the plain glaze just didn't cut it for me.
Five, the fact that they are FRIED in OIL is a good thing. Yes, you heard me: a good thing. I read in "Food Rules" (by Michael Pollan) a couple months ago that the best way to limit your fried food intake was to make it yourself. It is time-consuming, messy, and intense with the end result being you won't do it very often. It's a natural inhibitor!
He's completely correct.
But: I will make these again. Just not before Christmas ;)
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/02/homemade-glazed-doughnuts/
While time-intensive and slightly overwhelming at times, these Homemade Doughnuts are super-delicious. I learned several things in the process.
One, have more time on hand than you think you might need. While I don't encourage immediate disregard and thoughts of "That will never happen", I do encourage you to set aside about 6 hours total. Looking back, I did not have that much time and I sure could have used it!
Two, buy a doughnut cutter. While my creativeness essentially worked - a round sandwich cutter and a shot glass - it worked less than beautifully. The doughnuts looked like thick onion rings! But, no matter: they tasted delicious :)
Three, I'm going to agree with my sister's sentiment (http://shortcakessweettooth.blogspot.com/2010/12/fff-final-recipe-homemade-glazed.html) and heartily encourage you to employ your husband - or friend, or child, or pet - to help. It's well worth it in the end. ***Thank you, Sweetheart!***
Four, I would change the way I made the glaze. I stuck to just a plain ole powdered sugar glaze; my instinct was to add peppermint extract but knowing I was taking them to church for hospitality the next day, I refrained fearing some would not like that flavor. Next time: I'm doin' it! Maybe it's being used to my Mom's glazes like maple and chocolate but the plain glaze just didn't cut it for me.
Five, the fact that they are FRIED in OIL is a good thing. Yes, you heard me: a good thing. I read in "Food Rules" (by Michael Pollan) a couple months ago that the best way to limit your fried food intake was to make it yourself. It is time-consuming, messy, and intense with the end result being you won't do it very often. It's a natural inhibitor!
He's completely correct.
But: I will make these again. Just not before Christmas ;)
15 December 2010
I love December!
It happens every year.
The calendar turns to December 1st and wah-lah! -- the chaos ensues. Parties for work; parties for church; parties for friends of friends; parties for parties' sake. Not that I'm complaining - I could exist on appetizers for the rest of my life!
Week 13 of our FFF brought along my first Holiday party hosting event of the season. Three of my closest friends from college and I always find a way to share time and space together around the Christmas season; this was our 11th year! I tried out two new recipes for the brunch - Sage Turkey Sausage Patties and Pumpkin Banana Bread with Dark Chocolate Butter. The turkey sausage was pretty good; I'm not a huge fan of ground turkey but there were enough spices in the recipe to bring it up to a 'good' level. The bread was also 'good'. The kicker was the Dark Chocolate Butter! -- total yummy goodness! There was a little extra left over after the bread was gone; let's just say I can confirm that it tastes delicious on a slice of fresh pear ...
(Both of those recipes were from magazines; if you're interested in the recipe, just let me know and I'll post them for you!)
For Week 14, my sister chose "Make-Ahead Muffin Melts" from The Pioneer Woman. (Can you tell we love Ree in most every way?!)
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/07/make-ahead-muffin-melts/
I have to admit that just in perusing the recipe, I wasn't super-thrilled or excited.
Boy, was I WRONG.
These little babies are de-lish! I made them ahead of time, just like it not-so-subtly suggests. We had a family day trip planned for last Sunday so it was the perfect time to have a ready-made breakfast on hand. They took about 5 minutes to put on the English Muffins, about 10 minutes to bake, and about 5.7 seconds post-first bite to know that we'll be making these many times over! Adults and children alike agreed that they were a keeper. Go ahead - try them out this weekend and let me know what you think :)
Coming up next: Homemade Glazed Doughnuts. I better put in a good run this weekend!
The calendar turns to December 1st and wah-lah! -- the chaos ensues. Parties for work; parties for church; parties for friends of friends; parties for parties' sake. Not that I'm complaining - I could exist on appetizers for the rest of my life!
Week 13 of our FFF brought along my first Holiday party hosting event of the season. Three of my closest friends from college and I always find a way to share time and space together around the Christmas season; this was our 11th year! I tried out two new recipes for the brunch - Sage Turkey Sausage Patties and Pumpkin Banana Bread with Dark Chocolate Butter. The turkey sausage was pretty good; I'm not a huge fan of ground turkey but there were enough spices in the recipe to bring it up to a 'good' level. The bread was also 'good'. The kicker was the Dark Chocolate Butter! -- total yummy goodness! There was a little extra left over after the bread was gone; let's just say I can confirm that it tastes delicious on a slice of fresh pear ...
(Both of those recipes were from magazines; if you're interested in the recipe, just let me know and I'll post them for you!)
For Week 14, my sister chose "Make-Ahead Muffin Melts" from The Pioneer Woman. (Can you tell we love Ree in most every way?!)
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/07/make-ahead-muffin-melts/
I have to admit that just in perusing the recipe, I wasn't super-thrilled or excited.
Boy, was I WRONG.
These little babies are de-lish! I made them ahead of time, just like it not-so-subtly suggests. We had a family day trip planned for last Sunday so it was the perfect time to have a ready-made breakfast on hand. They took about 5 minutes to put on the English Muffins, about 10 minutes to bake, and about 5.7 seconds post-first bite to know that we'll be making these many times over! Adults and children alike agreed that they were a keeper. Go ahead - try them out this weekend and let me know what you think :)
Coming up next: Homemade Glazed Doughnuts. I better put in a good run this weekend!
02 December 2010
Oh. My. Dreamy. Apple. Pie.
Week 11: I'm truly sorry. You were filled with the yummy delicious goodness known as Caramel Apple Rolls. http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/08/caramel-apple-sticky-buns/ You were truly amazing and captivating.
But ...
You were quickly followed by the deceptively simple yet devilishly delicious "Dreamy Apple Pie". http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/11/dreamy-apple-pie/
Now you must know; going into this, I was thinking: "Of all things, an apple pie is going to blow my mind?! I mean, really - apple pie?". I've never loved apple pie. Even when my mother made apple pie (and I'll just have you know that everything she makes is heaven on your tongue), I was never lusting for more.
True story: I made two - yes, count them: TWO - of these babies within three days of one another.
I'm pretty sure my husband would snuggle with one of these. And the hard sauce: well, that's most definitely the icing you always wanted. This pie is truly a breeze to make; no crazy ingredients - the only part that takes a little finessing is the pie crust. I encourage you: be brave and try your own. Don't wimp out and grab one from the store. Click the link, make the crust; freeze it like it says and then imagine yourself Van Gogh as you start. The kitchen counter is your canvas; the pie crust, your paint; and the rolling pin, your brush! It will take time and maneuvering and piecing it all together. But you will succeed in developing a work of art filled with the most gorgeous center of apple filling you can imagine.
Key step: bake the pie slow. I baked it for 55 mins at 350*, removed the foil, and baked for 20 more mins. It turned out, as you already know, d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s.
Dreamy Apple Pie, I will return to you again and again. In fact, you are my one and only. My apple pie recipe for all time. Or at least until Ree comes up with something even more scrumptious.
To baking: filled with the most delicious joy you can dream!
But ...
You were quickly followed by the deceptively simple yet devilishly delicious "Dreamy Apple Pie". http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/11/dreamy-apple-pie/
Now you must know; going into this, I was thinking: "Of all things, an apple pie is going to blow my mind?! I mean, really - apple pie?". I've never loved apple pie. Even when my mother made apple pie (and I'll just have you know that everything she makes is heaven on your tongue), I was never lusting for more.
True story: I made two - yes, count them: TWO - of these babies within three days of one another.
I'm pretty sure my husband would snuggle with one of these. And the hard sauce: well, that's most definitely the icing you always wanted. This pie is truly a breeze to make; no crazy ingredients - the only part that takes a little finessing is the pie crust. I encourage you: be brave and try your own. Don't wimp out and grab one from the store. Click the link, make the crust; freeze it like it says and then imagine yourself Van Gogh as you start. The kitchen counter is your canvas; the pie crust, your paint; and the rolling pin, your brush! It will take time and maneuvering and piecing it all together. But you will succeed in developing a work of art filled with the most gorgeous center of apple filling you can imagine.
Key step: bake the pie slow. I baked it for 55 mins at 350*, removed the foil, and baked for 20 more mins. It turned out, as you already know, d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s.
Dreamy Apple Pie, I will return to you again and again. In fact, you are my one and only. My apple pie recipe for all time. Or at least until Ree comes up with something even more scrumptious.
To baking: filled with the most delicious joy you can dream!
22 November 2010
So behind ... but I'll catch up!
Ok. I'm so far behind. Let's catch up:
Week 10 - Pumpkin Cupcakes with Buttercream Frosting. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.
Really. They are very, very good. Especially initially. They are light for pound cake. (I know, it's irony at it's best.) And the frosting. Well, the frosting is just delicious. Make them. Make them now:
http://www.mykitchenaddiction.com/2009/10/pumpkin-cupcakes-with-cinnamon-brown-sugar-buttercream/
Week 11: Half of Week 11 was spent in Tampa, FL. After a SUPER 34th birthday on Wed (the 17th), Paul and I ventured to FL to celebrate our first anniversary and to run a marathon - my first, his many-th :)
Tampa is gorgeous - absolutely gorgeous! We are most definitely returning. The location of the marathon was about an hour south of Tampa, in Alafia River State Park. It was an awesome setting ... the day of the race was incredibly hot; had to pour water on my head throughout and run slower than I hoped. But, I did it. My #1 goal of 2010 is complete! Pics are not up yet online, but I will post as soon as they are :)
As for baking in Week 11, well, Week 11 and 12 will exist together for me. Caramel Apple Rolls and Dreamy Apple Pie are coming up this week. Don't they sound made for each other?! ;)
Today, I am most grateful for how God made mind and body to work together to achieve more than separately possible. And, I am very thankful that my husband trained and ran every step of the way with me in making my first marathon a dream come true. Thank you, my best friend and husband, Paul!
Be grateful. It is the most important thing you will do each day!
Week 10 - Pumpkin Cupcakes with Buttercream Frosting. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.
Really. They are very, very good. Especially initially. They are light for pound cake. (I know, it's irony at it's best.) And the frosting. Well, the frosting is just delicious. Make them. Make them now:
http://www.mykitchenaddiction.com/2009/10/pumpkin-cupcakes-with-cinnamon-brown-sugar-buttercream/
Week 11: Half of Week 11 was spent in Tampa, FL. After a SUPER 34th birthday on Wed (the 17th), Paul and I ventured to FL to celebrate our first anniversary and to run a marathon - my first, his many-th :)
Tampa is gorgeous - absolutely gorgeous! We are most definitely returning. The location of the marathon was about an hour south of Tampa, in Alafia River State Park. It was an awesome setting ... the day of the race was incredibly hot; had to pour water on my head throughout and run slower than I hoped. But, I did it. My #1 goal of 2010 is complete! Pics are not up yet online, but I will post as soon as they are :)
As for baking in Week 11, well, Week 11 and 12 will exist together for me. Caramel Apple Rolls and Dreamy Apple Pie are coming up this week. Don't they sound made for each other?! ;)
Today, I am most grateful for how God made mind and body to work together to achieve more than separately possible. And, I am very thankful that my husband trained and ran every step of the way with me in making my first marathon a dream come true. Thank you, my best friend and husband, Paul!
Be grateful. It is the most important thing you will do each day!
08 November 2010
FFF, Brownies! Oh yeah ...
Alright. Game on.
Fourteen for Fall is back with the help of Butterscotch Pumpkin Brownies:
http://picky-palate.com/2010/10/21/gooey-pumpkin-butterscotch-brownies/
I made these this past Saturday while Hubby was studying for his upcoming A+ exam (which he passed with flying colors today, I might add!). Super easy and fun is what I'm saying ...
Mix up everything. Well, sorta. Mix up everything for the batter. Then I made an intuitive change: no butterscotch topping. Yep. That's right - I left out the butterscotch topping entirely.
And I'm pretty sure that is why we liked them so very much. The butterscotch chips were just enough flavor on top of the pumpkin and chocolate to accent yet not overtake.
My husband was thoroughly impressed, and I'll say this: he's pretty picky when it comes to dessert. It's gotta be worth it to eat the calories, you know?!
These were worth it. Sis, make 'em again with a working oven :) I think you'll like them alot. And to my Mom I stage a question: what would YOU change?! You're the queen of all things baked and cooked, and where Tricia and I learned our love of the kitchen. Do tell - what do you think?!
To life - full of brownies of all shapes, sizes, and gooey-ness. (Just not ME in all shapes, sizes, and gooey-ness! *wink*)
Fourteen for Fall is back with the help of Butterscotch Pumpkin Brownies:
http://picky-palate.com/2010/10/21/gooey-pumpkin-butterscotch-brownies/
I made these this past Saturday while Hubby was studying for his upcoming A+ exam (which he passed with flying colors today, I might add!). Super easy and fun is what I'm saying ...
Mix up everything. Well, sorta. Mix up everything for the batter. Then I made an intuitive change: no butterscotch topping. Yep. That's right - I left out the butterscotch topping entirely.
And I'm pretty sure that is why we liked them so very much. The butterscotch chips were just enough flavor on top of the pumpkin and chocolate to accent yet not overtake.
My husband was thoroughly impressed, and I'll say this: he's pretty picky when it comes to dessert. It's gotta be worth it to eat the calories, you know?!
These were worth it. Sis, make 'em again with a working oven :) I think you'll like them alot. And to my Mom I stage a question: what would YOU change?! You're the queen of all things baked and cooked, and where Tricia and I learned our love of the kitchen. Do tell - what do you think?!
To life - full of brownies of all shapes, sizes, and gooey-ness. (Just not ME in all shapes, sizes, and gooey-ness! *wink*)
04 November 2010
Week 7, Pumpkin Spice Latte
Ok, so I knew it would happen at some point. I just didn't want it to be during what sounds like a sure-thing: Pumpkin Spice Latte. Pumpkin? Always a great choice for fall. Spice? Everyone wants a little spice in their life. Latte? Who doesn't love a little steamed milk on a chilly morning?!
Week 7 of the Fabulous Fourteen for Fall extravaganza revealed a bit of disappointment. The chosen recipe of the week, Pumpkin Spice Latte (http://goodcleaneating.blogspot.com/2009/09/pumpkin-spice-latte.html) is full of promise.
And no sugar. Not that I'm addicted to sugar. Well, maybe I am.
This recipe is super-simple. Pumpkin and milk and spices on the stove-top. Add some freshly brewed coffee and wah-lah. I will admit I was curious about the absence of any form of sweetener in the recipe but I stuck to the recipe (for once in my life!) and poured the pumpkin-y, coffee goodness into cups to compliment our cinnamon pancake breakfast.
Flavor, excellent. Sugar: more please! Solution? My ingenious mom had a great idea: whipped cream on top! Now that is Starbucks-style coffee :)
Would I make the recipe again? Sure. But I would trust my instincts and not stick to it! A couple tablespoons of sugar, a dollop of whipped cream on top, and a good book in front of the fire. Now that sounds delicious!
Week 7 of the Fabulous Fourteen for Fall extravaganza revealed a bit of disappointment. The chosen recipe of the week, Pumpkin Spice Latte (http://goodcleaneating.blogspot.com/2009/09/pumpkin-spice-latte.html) is full of promise.
And no sugar. Not that I'm addicted to sugar. Well, maybe I am.
This recipe is super-simple. Pumpkin and milk and spices on the stove-top. Add some freshly brewed coffee and wah-lah. I will admit I was curious about the absence of any form of sweetener in the recipe but I stuck to the recipe (for once in my life!) and poured the pumpkin-y, coffee goodness into cups to compliment our cinnamon pancake breakfast.
Flavor, excellent. Sugar: more please! Solution? My ingenious mom had a great idea: whipped cream on top! Now that is Starbucks-style coffee :)
Would I make the recipe again? Sure. But I would trust my instincts and not stick to it! A couple tablespoons of sugar, a dollop of whipped cream on top, and a good book in front of the fire. Now that sounds delicious!
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